The Seven-Second Window

The Seven-Second Window

Nothing happens in 7-seven seconds? I can’t change my life in 7-seconds…can I?

Consider what is possible:

  1. High-speed Hot Rod: The Tesla can go from a dead stop to a speed of 65 in 7 seconds.
  2. Quick Decisions: Researches say we decide if we like someone within 7-seconds.
  3. Fleet Footed: The cheetah, the fastest land animal, can reach 60 mph in less than 3-seconds.
  4. Motor Mouth: In 1990, on the British television show, Steve Woodmore spoke 74-words in 6-seconds and could utter 637 words in 1-minute.

What can you do to today in as few as 7-seconds that will improve the quality of your life?

Ten Guaranteed Actions To Change Your Life That Won’t Cost You A Penny

  1. Pause before giving your boss a fast “NO” response to a new idea.
  2. The payoff for returning the smile of your flight attendant on an early bird flight will certainly make you feel better than if you frowned at them.
  3. Affirmatively nod, lean slightly forwards and LISTEN CAREFULLY to a customer who seems to be giving you a list of reasons why they can’t buy your product.
  4. Hug and kiss your child before they fall asleep. Both of you will get a better night’s sleep.
  5. Hold the door open for someone carrying a load of packages as they enter or leave a building. Don’t worry about their gender or yours. It’s all about helping another human.
  6. Take a deep breath from your belly when you’d rather return a verbal insult from a rival.
  7. Be the second car to proceed through an intersection after stopping at a traffic light. You might avoid a collision with someone who is late for work and decided to run a red light.
  8. Just say “No thank you” to a second helping of dessert at the next holiday dinner. You really will feel better the following day and self-esteem will grow.
  9. Apologize as soon as harsh words have passed your lips. It may not erase the pain and hurt the recipient of your words feels but it can start the healing process.
  10. Thank your creator for a full and productive day and the chance at another even better one tomorrow.

All ten tips will take a few seconds to implement. I promise your life will be a whole lot more fun, your health will improve and your outlook about your future will be brighter. That beats a ton of anti-depressants, hours in therapy or huge liquor bill at the local neighborhood bar.

Mary Redmond is a top-rated female professional speaker, author, consultant and business coach.  She is a negotiation and body language expert that instills confidence, inspiration and expert knowledge that sets up her audiences for success!

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NO or I Don’t Know. Which No/Know is More Powerful?

NO or I Don’t Know. Which No/Know is More Powerful?

There is power in saying NO. Guru’s preach that if we say that simple one-syllable word-NO-we will:

  1. Establish office and project boundaries quicker.
  2. Manage time more effectively. Be a more successful, productive sales or territory manager.
  3. Control or eliminate excesses like eating unhealthy foods, drinking excessively or smoking.
  4. Be happier, more contented and fulfilled.
  5. Avoid over-volunteering for activities. You’ll recognize this pattern if your community nickname is “The Always Go-to Soccer Coach” or “Fund Raising Chair Extraordinaire.”

Brick and mortar bookstores contain huge Self-Help sections. Amazon lists 1.5 million book titles containing the word NO. If there are so many resources available to instruct us on how to say NO, why are we unable or unwilling to say that 2-letter word?

I believe it has a lot to do with difficulty in uttering another phrase, “I don’t know”, which is usually followed by the phrase, “I want to talk it over with….”

Somehow or at some time in our cultural development, it became imperative to respond immediately to a request with either a Yes or a No. Delay in decision-making was unacceptable. We feared that decision delay was a sign of weakness. Maybe it was an indication that we didn’t control our own destiny, personal lives, service territory, company future or world peace.

Uttering the phrase “I don’t know, I’ll get back to you on that” was as challenging as watching a cat passing a hair ball.

As children, if we were smart, we relied upon the excuse “I’ll have to ask my mom or dad for permission.” We maintained peace at home and avoided punishment when we asked an authority for approval of a scheme or plan.

As adults, who is our go-to for counsel? We’re fortunate if we have someone to consult prior to decision-making. The title we use is not as important as that there is someone we go to for guidance.

We may refer to them as an adviser, coach, mentor, business partner, counselor, colleague, spouse and occasionally attorney. Their title depended upon the issue. The point is that we have someone to discuss a decision with before saying yes or no. For some of us, we refer to our guide as a higher-power.

There is another possible challenge on the way to “I Don’t Know.” It’s the ego, our sense of self-esteem, self-importance and personal identity. A strong ego is an asset but can be a liability if it overrides humility.

When the ego is strong enough to admit that Smart People Say I Don’t Know, you are on your way to more personal fulfillment and success.

Mary Redmond is a top-rated female professional speaker, author, consultant and business coach.  She is a negotiation and body language expert that instills confidence, inspiration and expert knowledge that sets up her audiences for success!   

 

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Do the Rules of Right, Wrong and Honesty Still Apply to You?

Do the Rules of Right, Wrong and Honesty Still Apply to You?

I visited my hometown recently for my Aunt’s funeral.The funeral Mass was held in the Catholic Church our family has attended for over a century.

It’s the church in which my family had the priest baptize our new babies and the one from which we said our good-byes to loved ones as they went to “their final reward.”

Ghosts of my too-early-gone mom and dad, and numerous aunts, uncles and cousins fill my thoughts as I sit in the second row surrounded by an aging family. We’re all aging. There are very few Redmond babies born to take our places.

In this Church, I learned about truth, honesty, respect and obedience. The payoff for good behavior came with rewards, recognition and gold stars on the Behavior Chart in the classroom.

As Catholics, not only did we learn about consequences for breaking the Ten Commandments, we also were drilled with facts about eternal damnation, Hell, Purgatory, Original Sin, Mortal and Venial Sin, Penance and the Seven Sacraments.

My parents raised us to understand that there were right and wrong actions. Taking toys from my brothers or sisters was wrong. The price paid for that evil deed was either a spanking or scolding.

However, my first big act evil deed was that of theft. I stole seven cents worth of candy from our neighborhood grocer, Mr. Hochman.

When Catholic children reach 2nd grade, they prepare for their first confession and communion. I knew that I would enter the confessional booth, kneel down and tell our parish priest, about all the broken commandments of a very bad girl of seven.

I was going to face the music. Pay the piper. Bite the bullet. Take my medicine. All those over-used idioms for making amends for wrongs done. In this case, the priest told me I had to pay Mr. Hochman back for the candy I stole. What I was relieved to know was that I did not have apologize to him, face-to-face. I could do it anonymously. The priest advised me to put the money in an envelope and leave it on the shop counter.

I feared that if I did not make restitution, I would go to Hell for all eternity. I certainly did not want to pay for my candy for eternity so I did what I was told. I slipped the money on the counter and ran out the door.

This experience made such a strong impression on me that I can still recall the creaky wooden shop floor, the huge cash register and how I stood on tip-toes to slide the envelope discreetly onto the counter before running home.

How do each of us learn what is right and wrong? For most people, we learn to be honest from our parents. Reflect back on your early lessons about honesty.

Do those rules still apply to you as an adult?

Mary Redmond is a top-rated female professional speaker, author, consultant and business coach.  She is a negotiation and body language expert that instills confidence, inspiration and expert knowledge that sets up her audiences for success!

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Face Your Biggest Fears…Most of them Won’t Kill You.

Face Your Biggest Fears…Most of them Won’t Kill You.


Unless the chute fails to open. Alternatively, your tandem instructor decides not to pull the ripcord because he has a death wish. By now, you’ve probably guessed this story is about skydiving, one of my biggest fears.13592406_1049624141792932_7132323744764427168_n

Last year, at a luncheon of an organization of Business Women, the foursome at my table began to discuss “Bucket Lists.” My Bucket List at the time, included skydiving. I casually asked if any of the others had that on their list. Nancy excitedly said yes she had wanted to jump since she was 15-years of age. She volunteered to be my accountability buddy and would do a tandem jump too. Rats, there went the excuse of “I’d never do this alone.”

The other two women said they thought we were both a bit crazy but they’d cheer us on from a safe spot on the ground. Nancy and I researched jump locations safety records, instructors, prices and personal jump site recommendations. Excuses and delays caused us to push the jump into the summer of 2016.

Jump day, Sunday, June 5 arrived. The weather was perfect. However, I was on day 16 of the worst head cold I have had in years. I had every excuse to not go through with the jump. However, I knew that if I backed out that Sunday, the odds were extremely high that I would never reschedule the jump.

Forty years before, I had taken a parachute jumping class and never made the jump. For a stack of reasons mostly having to do with an extremely rainy spring, I never put on the chute and jumped.

Facing fears is a subject I speak about frequently in my keynotes. I love to challenge my audiences to be courageous and face fears. Here are a few of the fears I’ve faced:

  • The fear of not making payroll as a small business owner for 14-years.
  • At age 30, I quit my job, loaded my car with the essentials I thought I’d need to live and headed west with no specific destination in mind. I had clothes for 4 seasons, a tent, sleeping bag, propane cook stove and my favorite cookbooks. I saw five states and settled for the next three years in Boulder, Colorado.
  • In my 30’s, I traveled to seven European countries alone for six weeks.
  • As a single woman, I purchased my first home in my 30’s before that was a common occurrence.
  • After receiving a traumatic brain injury while riding on my bicycle, a few months later, I got back on the same bicycle and rode over the spot where the accident occurred.
  • I’ve para sailed, skinny-dipped, spoken in front of an audience of 1,000 and visited someone at a maximum-security prison where I was informed that most of the inmates visiting with their families in the cafeteria around us were murderers.

What I’ve learned is when I face any fear, I grow stronger. The next fear is always easier to face.

Marilyn Ferguson, the author of The Aquarian Conspiracy said it succinctly, “we know deeply that the other side of every fear is freedom.”

If you are anything like me, you yearn for freedom to live life to its fullest. No shortcuts or excuses, following the Nike slogan “Just Do It.”

Mary Redmond is a top-rated female professional speaker, author, consultant and business coach.  She is a negotiation and body language expert that instills confidence, inspiration and expert knowledge that sets up her audiences for success!

 

 

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You Taught us How to Love—Unconditionally

st-francis-of-assisi-1235348As our large Irish Catholic family prepared for the final days of our Aunt Muriel Redmond’s life, we each took our turn saying good bye.

My mother had died 42 years before Aunt Muriel. Although I was 22 at the time, Aunt Muriel became my touchstone, my moral compass. When I was confused about marriage, or if I should accept a specific job offer or move to a new city or when I needed to hear someone loved me, no matter what, I called Aunt Muriel.

In August of 2015, all of her children and immediate family members, friends from her church, friends from the community where she had resided for 11 years, neighbors and many more had gathered to toast her 100th Birthday.

Aunt Muriel was a woman of wisdom, grace, patience, courage and compassion. In addition to listening and comforting her own children and grandchildren, she took time to be a “mom” to numerous nieces, nephews and others.  We may never know how many looked at my aunt as their “other mother.”

At her funeral, her son, Thomas closed the eulogy for his mother with the Prayer of St. Frances. As I listened to the words of this well-known prayer, I finally knew how blessed I had been to know the love of this amazing woman. She lived the words of this prayer, every day of her 100 years.

Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Mary Redmond is a top-rated female professional speaker, author, consultant and business coach.  She is a negotiation and body language expert that instills confidence, inspiration and expert knowledge that sets up her audiences for success!

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Joy, Thanks and Life 17 Years later

Seventeen years ago, I took my first step towards a new, unexpected and joy-filled life.

The journey has been full of blessings, new deep, life-long friendships, surprises, struggles and challenges.

The big difference is that before that night, 17-years ago, I had few tools to manage life’s tough times. I dreaded those roller coaster days, terror filled nights that lasted for what felt like 12 or more hours. With morning came regrets and a litany of trite phrases directed towards my husband. They usually began with “I’m sorry for what I said last night.” Followed with, Honey, today will be different, I promise.”

On other mornings, with a rotten and bitter taste in my mouth, I’d ask, “Did I do something dumb last night? I can’t remember much after 10:00pm.”

The words: hope, faith, acceptance, honesty and forgiveness were not in my vocabulary. My soul was filled with feelings of hopelessness, fear, guilt, resentment and anger.

That was then. Today I look forward to each new day. Monday’s included. Usually that is…

I said I’m more honest now. Some Monday’s are not that great.

There are a few Monday’s, after a particularly precious weekend with family and friends, where I wish Sunday would last for 48-hours.

One recent “rough” Monday was the day after returning from a fabulous 6-day girl friend trip to an exclusive Mexican Riviera resort and spa vacation.

On that Monday, I wished for just one more vacation day of sun, beach, guacamole, salsa and chips, plus hours more of laughing until the tears rolled and our bellies hurt.

Today I live blessed life. If you were checking out Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs pyramid, the chart is almost complete. I’m covered in the basic needs: physiological, safety, love/belonging and esteem. I spend most of my self-development working on the Self-Actualization phase that includes morality, creativity, spontaneity, problem solving, acceptance of facts and lack of prejudice.

I live in our beautiful dream home with my dear husband of 26+ years. My professional speaking business is running at a wonderful pace. I’m working on a book and from time-to-time, I am asked to mentor other less experienced businesswomen.

My friendships are gems that shine like diamonds, rubies and emeralds. My roots in the community are deep. My God and I are on a first-name basis. I never knew life could be this good. If you’ve been on the journey with me, thank you for your support and love. Life is a team-sport. I could not have done this without you.

Amen! God Bless You.

Mary Redmond is a top-rated female professional speaker, author, consultant and business coach.  She is a negotiation and body language expert that instills confidence, inspiration and expert knowledge that sets up her audiences for success!

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