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Twenty-eight years ago, I made the decision to negotiate more often. At that point in my career, I rated my negotiation skills as a 3 or4 on a 10-Scale. Bargaining for an occasional thing.Negotiate to Reach Agreement

I did not come from a family of negotiators, although for a very short time, my dad, an attorney, tried his hand at it in private practice.

At 23 and newly divorced, I fell prey to a disreputable car dealer. I have no idea how much I left on the negotiation table, but I’m sure the sales man bought beers for his buddies for weeks with the profits from my purchase. I vowed to never walk onto a car lot alone and unprepared.

My negotiation career began with help from my boy friend, Dwain. He came from a savvy negotiation background as the president of his family’s trucking company. He had negotiated millions of dollars in equipment purchases for the family business in over-the-road trucks, trailers and real estate.

He was perfectly qualified to teach me how to get the best deal on my new car. The project became a mini-Negotiation Workshop. The “FearLess Negotiator” was born.

  1. The first text book reading assignment was Swim With the Sharks: Without Being Eaten Alive, by Harvey Mackay, published in March 1988 by Ivy Books.
  2. Then I studied car resource materials like Consumer Report, Edmunds and the Kelly Blue Book. These guides used to be found in hard copy at the public library. Now all this is online.
  3. Next was the selection of a dealer that was conveniently located for service and had an acceptable car. Note I did not say, “the car of my dreams.”

Five Guides from the Negotiation Trenches

  • Never fall in love with a vehicle. It’s too hard to walk away if you don’t arrive at your goal price.
  • Allow enough time to make the right deal. When we walked into the dealership it was warm and sunny. By the time we left it was dark, over 2 inches of snow had fallen and six hours had elapsed.
  • Assign negotiation responsibilities. Play as a team not as adversaries although, I occasionally use the good cop, bad cop strategy.
  • Always be ready to walk if the salesman makes too many trips to meet with the Sales Manager or price concessions stop.
  • As the negotiation neared an end, we were $50 apart and I was exhausted. Still in good humor, Dwain proposed we flip a coin over the final deal differential. I have no recollection of who won the toss. We were all laughing.

I know we made a great deal. I learned some life-long lessons. What happened to my boyfriend? We just celebrated 25-wonderful years of marriage. And yes, we negotiated all the way to the altar and continue to do so every day. It keeps life exciting.