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ClockNegotiateNegotiation is an essential tool for everyone. You do not have to be in sales to be a masterful negotiator. One only needs to be conscious and breathing under your own power to negotiate.

You also need courage. It’s not easy for some of us bravely state our needs, desires, hopes and expectations to another human being who has the authority to respond with a Yes or No! We have no control over the response, but we can influence it.

At the core of negotiation is an opportunity to make a choice, state a request and accept the consequences.

You may not have viewed the following as examples of a negotiation. They all are:
• The morning breakfast choice debate: Lean, low-fat protein or sugar coated cereal.
• Justification of the happy hour networking over maintenance of a 4-times a week exercise regime.
• Compliance with a colleague’s request to “fib” to manager’s about our friend’s tardiness.
• Requesting a hotel room with a magnificent view or a concierge level deluxe accommodation?

Sometimes we negotiate with ourselves. My first and last negotiation of every day is with my alarm clock. As my head drops onto the pillow at night, I turn towards the alarm clock, mentally reviewing the upcoming day. Then I commence to negotiate with myself over what is the absolute last moment I can respond to the alarm and still make an on-time arrival for my first appointment

After a thoughtful mental justification exercise, I set my clock. As I set the alarm, I am fully cognizant that the moment the alarm goes off in the morning; I will again go into negotiation mode. The early-bird negotiation is frantic, not well thought out and is conducted in a sleep-coma thought process.

For all of us, a negotiation packed day follows. Most days include some or all of these communications:
1. The wardrobe color negotiation.
2. Who picks up the kids responsibility compromise.
3. The–it’s your turn to cook dinner “discussion.”
4. Who took “my” parking space inquisition.
5. Great reasons to delay the big prospect presentation because I’m not prepared enough debate.
6. The discussion and justification of why I should attend the January trade-show in Florida.

A day filled with compromise, concession, conciliation, collaboration and cooperation is exhausting.

At the end of the workday, we crave peace and quiet. Please—I want no more deal making. Cease the incessant demands. Stop the jockeying for position. Tomorrow is a new day.

Calm waters are ahead if we accept that we did our best. Additionally, realize that we have no control over how others react to our requests. Peaceful Negotiators understand that acceptance is the answer. They will live to negotiate tomorrow as they ask themselves, what time will I set the alarm clock for?

Mary Redmond is a negotiation expert that provides workshops, presentations and coaching for companies and organizations.  She is a well-known professional speaker, author and consultant that can help you achieve success.