Once graduated from the bullies on the playground or locker room in school, you figured you’d left intimidators behind.
Were you surprised when you find that they are alive, well and thrive in the Executive Board Rooms, at Corporate Sales Meetings and Conferences? Sometime that tormentor lurks in the cubicle beside you.
Eventually I figured out that I had to learn to manage them or I’d perish in corporate America. Managing them didn’t mean I’d become one of them.
How to Spot Bully Body Language
Most bullies physically demonstrate some or all of the following behaviors:
1. Invade your personal space standing closer than 2-3 feet from you as they speak to you.
2. While you’re working, they loom over you.
3. If they wear eyeglasses, they’ll peer over the tops of them as they judgmentally examine you.
4. When speaking, they raise their voice and make huge gestures, even if they’re speaking to an audience of one.
5. Their facial expression never changes as you talk. There are passive and emotionless.
6. Their jaw juts out towards you in a defiant manner.
7. My favorite is rolling the eyes in a dismissive manner especially while drawing their mouth up at the corner in a judgmental smirk or look of contempt.
Manage Your Body and the Bully
1. Stand your ground. Do not step back as they close the distance between you and them.
2. Consider stepping into their personal space, if only by moving one foot forward. At a minumum, lean towards them from your waist if you’re too apprehensive to take a step forward.
3. Keep eye contact. Maintain a steady gaze with facial expressions firm and resolute. This is not the time to speak. Take their measure. Do not allow the muscles surrounding your mouth to tighten.
4. Keep your arms at your sides. If that is uncomfortable or you feel too vulnerable, extend your right hand in an attempt to shake their hand. Another alternative is to cross your arms over your chest. This gesture is open to many interpretations from body language experts, however most commonly it’s read as a closed, defiant or possibly a self-defensive protective measure.
5. Maintain a steady breathing pattern. Shallow breathing reveals fear and leaves you compromised when it’s finally time to speak. Both men and women’s voices tend to rise in high stress times. A higher than normal voice is a solid indicator of fear. Bullies celebrate when they see fear.
6. Keeping shoulders relaxed supports consistent breathing and vocal control.
When you master these Body Language techniques, you will keep the bullies at bay. In addition, you will gain respect on the corporate playground.
Mary Redmond is a top-rated female professional speaker, author, consultant and business coach. She is a negotiation and body language expert that instills confidence, inspiration and expert knowledge that sets up her audiences for success!