Negotiate When You Want to be HEARD: 5 Tips to Negotiation Success Part 4 of 5

Successful negotiators are prepared negotiators. Most of us are not born as great negotiators. We learn at an early age how to get what we want. By age two, a toddler knows how mommy and daddy tick and what it takes to get a cookie.

As we grow the stakes get bigger. We need to refine our old motto “I want what I want.” What we are really saying is “I want to be HEARD. Please listen to me. Respect my opinions.”

Five tips for a successful negotiation are contained in the acronym H.E.A.R.D.

This article is the fourth in a five-part series sharing essential steps to become a more successful negotiator in leasing as well as in life.

Step 4 – R – Recommendation

You are ready to present your solution, proposal or position.

The recommendation phase is not called the Godfather Step. If you recall in the classic movie The Godfather, there is a scene in which one of the lead characters Don Corleone, played by Marlon Brando, tells his associates that he plans to make their opponents an offer. He’s going to make ‘em an offer they can’t refuse.”

There are debates over who should make the first offer. Go with your gut. I’ve done it both ways and ended with wins.

Mary Redmond is a top-rated female professional speaker, author, consultant and business coach.  She is a negotiation and body language expert that instills confidence, inspiration and expert knowledge that sets up her audiences for success!

 

 

Negotiate When You Want to be HEARD: 5 Tips to Negotiation Success Part 3 of 5

Successful negotiators are prepared negotiators. Most of us are not born as great negotiators. We learn at an early age how to get what we want. By age two, a toddler knows how mommy and daddy tick and what it takes to get a cookie.

As we grow the stakes get bigger. We need to refine our old motto “I want what I want.” What we are really saying is “I want to be HEARD. Please listen to me. Respect my opinions.”

Five tips for a successful negotiation are contained in the acronym H.E.A.R.D.

This article is the third in a five-part series sharing essential steps to become a more successful negotiator in leasing as well as in life.

Step 3 – A – Assess

Assess what you know and don’t know. Test possible options using phrases like “what would you say if…” or “let’s imagine if…” and then let the other person talk. This step allows you to help them visualize your preferred solution.

Answering a question with a question is a technique we learned at age two and still use in the world of “grown-ups.” Why? How? When? This can drive them crazy too so don’t overuse this technique.

If you are faced with someone who answers your question with a question, consider taking a break if this technique is used too often. The coffee pot or a “breather break” has saved many a negotiator from blowing their stack and the negotiation as well.

Mary Redmond is a top-rated female professional speaker, author, consultant and business coach.  She is a negotiation and body language expert that instills confidence, inspiration and expert knowledge that sets up her audiences for success!

Negotiate When You Want to be HEARD: 5 Tips to Negotiation Success Part 2 of 5

Negotiate When You Want to be HEARD: 5 Tips to Negotiation Success Part 2 of 5

Successful negotiators are prepared negotiators. Most of us are not born as great negotiators. We learn at an early age how to get what we want. By age two, a toddler knows how mommy and daddy tick and what it takes to get a cookie.

As we grow the stakes get bigger. We need to refine our old motto “I want what I want.” What we are really saying is “I want to be HEARD. Please listen to me. Respect my opinions.”

Five tips for a successful negotiation are contained in the acronym H.E.A.R.D.

This article is the second in a five-part series sharing essential steps to become a more successful negotiator in leasing as well as in life.

Step 2 – E – Engage

In the initial meeting, engage the opponent and assess what you know and need to know. What works best?

  1. Open ended questions are tools to get the other team talking. New information is gathered and other information is confirmed.
  2. Establish rapport and trust using what you know about the negotiator from your homework steps.
  3. Use active listening skills by showing interest in their position.
  4. Take notes. This shows you value what they say. Notes help recall what was said and who said it.
  5. Reading body language is a tool of a skilled negotiator. Those who master reading body language gain a look into the other person’s thoughts and feelings.
  6. Do not interrupt them. Allow them to talk freely.

Mary Redmond is a top-rated female professional speaker, author, consultant and business coach.  She is a negotiation and body language expert that instills confidence, inspiration and expert knowledge that sets up her audiences for success!

NO or I Don’t Know. Which No/Know is More Powerful?

NO or I Don’t Know. Which No/Know is More Powerful?

There is power in saying NO. Guru’s preach that if we say that simple one-syllable word-NO-we will:

  1. Establish office and project boundaries quicker.
  2. Manage time more effectively. Be a more successful, productive sales or territory manager.
  3. Control or eliminate excesses like eating unhealthy foods, drinking excessively or smoking.
  4. Be happier, more contented and fulfilled.
  5. Avoid over-volunteering for activities. You’ll recognize this pattern if your community nickname is “The Always Go-to Soccer Coach” or “Fund Raising Chair Extraordinaire.”

Brick and mortar bookstores contain huge Self-Help sections. Amazon lists 1.5 million book titles containing the word NO. If there are so many resources available to instruct us on how to say NO, why are we unable or unwilling to say that 2-letter word?

I believe it has a lot to do with difficulty in uttering another phrase, “I don’t know”, which is usually followed by the phrase, “I want to talk it over with….”

Somehow or at some time in our cultural development, it became imperative to respond immediately to a request with either a Yes or a No. Delay in decision-making was unacceptable. We feared that decision delay was a sign of weakness. Maybe it was an indication that we didn’t control our own destiny, personal lives, service territory, company future or world peace.

Uttering the phrase “I don’t know, I’ll get back to you on that” was as challenging as watching a cat passing a hair ball.

As children, if we were smart, we relied upon the excuse “I’ll have to ask my mom or dad for permission.” We maintained peace at home and avoided punishment when we asked an authority for approval of a scheme or plan.

As adults, who is our go-to for counsel? We’re fortunate if we have someone to consult prior to decision-making. The title we use is not as important as that there is someone we go to for guidance.

We may refer to them as an adviser, coach, mentor, business partner, counselor, colleague, spouse and occasionally attorney. Their title depended upon the issue. The point is that we have someone to discuss a decision with before saying yes or no. For some of us, we refer to our guide as a higher-power.

There is another possible challenge on the way to “I Don’t Know.” It’s the ego, our sense of self-esteem, self-importance and personal identity. A strong ego is an asset but can be a liability if it overrides humility.

When the ego is strong enough to admit that Smart People Say I Don’t Know, you are on your way to more personal fulfillment and success.

Mary Redmond is a top-rated female professional speaker, author, consultant and business coach.  She is a negotiation and body language expert that instills confidence, inspiration and expert knowledge that sets up her audiences for success!   

 

Negotiate When You Want to be HEARD: 5 Tips to Negotiation Success Part 1 of 5

Negotiate When You Want to be HEARD: 5 Tips to Negotiation Success Part 1 of 5

Successful negotiators are prepared negotiators. Most of us are not born as great negotiators. We learn at an early age how to get what we want. By age two, a toddler knows how mommy and daddy tick and what it takes to get a cookie.

As we grow the stakes get bigger. We need to refine our old motto “I want what I want.” What we are really saying is “I want to be HEARD. Please listen to me. Respect my opinions.”

Five tips for a successful negotiation are contained in the acronym H.E.A.R.D.

This article is the first in a five-part series sharing essential steps to become a more successful negotiator in leasing as well as in life.

Step 1 – Homework

Before every negotiation you should learn as much as possible about your customer.  Homework occurs before the initial prospect appointment. Jump to the proposal stage before doing your homework and you leave money on the table.

Savvy negotiators check out their prospect’s website, the CEO’s bio, the company’s marketing philosophy, press releases, industry magazines, blogs, podcasts, webinars and other research. Social networking tools help uncover information gold before negotiations begin. It’s possible to learn where the organization is going and how management plans to reach its goals.

During this phase, you determine your company’s bottom line or your walk away point. Share it with your manager or a colleague, whose role is to hold you accountable.

In 1978 singer Kenny Rogers advised us to “know when to hold them, know when to fold them and know when to walk away.” This is fabulous negotiations counsel!

Homework aids in understanding your customer’s challenges and opportunities. Then you determine how your product or service helps them achieve their plan.

Stay tuned for Part 2 after Thanksgiving!

Mary Redmond is a top-rated female professional speaker, author, consultant and business coach.  She is a negotiation and body language expert that instills confidence, inspiration and expert knowledge that sets up her audiences for success!

The Answer is NO….Until it’s  YES!

The Answer is NO….Until it’s YES!

For my first few years of life, I thought that when Mom said NO, she meant NO. There was seldom a reversal of a decision. It was useless to ask my dad, hoping that to keep the peace, he’d give in to a request. Nope. He was afraid of my mom too.

Eventually, I learned that I was making rookie negotiator’s mistake. Little did I suspect that there was more than one-way of asking.

I am the second of six-children and the first female. My “Big Brother” was 10 years older than I was. For a couple of years, as an adorable little girl, the answers to my requests were often YES.

That lucky streak ran out. The next four children arrived in our family, over the next 10-years. My requests were now met with a NO WAY! There’s not enough money to do that for all of you. My parents believed that their duty was to be financially fair to all the children.

The family budget was frequently stretched to the breaking point. There was enough for life’s basics, but little remained for extra treats, vacations or new clothes.

Early in life, I prepared a mental list of the Negotiation-Facts of Life.

  1. No Meant No.
  2. Money would be spent equally on each child.
  3. Whining never worked.
  4. Asking my dad did not fly in our house. Mom was the absolute authority and the decision maker.
  5. Team negotiations in which all of us ganged up against my parents came with negative consequences and sometimes in the form of a spanking.

Today, as the FearLess Negotiator the childhood Negotiation Facts of Life no longer apply.

I approach every negotiation with a new rulebook.

  1. No means no, not right now. Situations change. When new information is reported, new rules apply. No can switch to yes in the blink of an eye.
  2. People get the money they ask for. “If you Don’t Ask, You Don’t Get.”
  3. Whining, crying and pleading works sometimes. However, use this technique judiciously.
  4. There is always a Higher Authority. Every business professional has a boss, even though bosses may be called shareholders, stakeholders or the Board of Directors.
  5. Team Negotiators are effective as long as the participants:
  6. Know their duties and responsibilities.
  7. Understand their individual strengths and why they have been invited to sit at the negotiation table.
  8. Sometimes, the team with the biggest number of players WINS!

I challenge each sales person, customer service representative, manager or business owner to reconsider their personal rules of negotiation. Do not be discouraged when you receive a NO. No is just a word that is constantly changing. No wants to be a YES when it grows up.

Mary Redmond is a top-rated female professional speaker, author, consultant and business coach.  She is a negotiation and body language expert that instills confidence, inspiration and expert knowledge that sets up her audiences for success!